no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
