doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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