he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
