Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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