why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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