I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
