careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
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