I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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