Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
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Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
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There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?