Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer