"it" just moved
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You need Xanax blowdarts
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here