Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
