I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I could fuck to npr.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
