I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
