I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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