I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
