ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
