I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
