About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
