12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
