Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Randomize
