Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
