Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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