I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
