I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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