The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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