She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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