I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
