"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
