I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
