The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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