She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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