I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
