people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
