I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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