anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
