What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
