Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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