Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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