...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
