She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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