I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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