so that wasnt chicken after all
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
