garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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