And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This baby is an asshole
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
