fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
