do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
