maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
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The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
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I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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