Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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