this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
