Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
