epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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