If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
