Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
