So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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