took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
