May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
