Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
she peed on how many people?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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