I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
