Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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