If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
