I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
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