Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
