her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
