You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
