Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Are we in a gay sports bar?
love makes seman taste better
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
bring money and cleavage
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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