My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
