I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
